same old. house hunting, job hunting. i move out next week.

started a new consultancy, kinda grateful that it's in-person work because i have no idea how to balance meetings when my bedroom is a couch. i was going to try to book local library workspaces, but i don't have a library card where i'm moving to.

a lot of political drama within the community, and word has it that the government wants to put in new mines basically down the road from where i'm living. destructive ones. i guess that makes sense, why not. can't have anything in this life.

that's not fair. i have my health, i have my connections, i have this site. i just have to keep sight of what is good.

even more hope - have been shortlisted for a place i really want. i might have debased myself to the real estate agent by explaining that i would jump through flaming hoops if they demand, but at this point i do not care, because i would like a home.

i've also had some luck getting rid of my old clothes on reseller sites. they're vintage now, after all.

i'm not really sure what's next. getting ready to move, i guess. oh boy.

i left writing this pretty late, so it's probably being published tomorrow.

a fortnight left till i move. should get keys next friday. no i'm fine why do you ask.

been thinking a lot about journalism and the ethics of media consumption. i don't have my words quite right yet, but i'm getting there. i think.

i wish i weren't a renter. i wish i could just... pay off a small apartment over the next 20 years, like mortgagees get to do, and i'd even put up with the normal rental inspections and restrictions drama just to have a place i could guarantee not having to move out of.

but that's not how housing works. unless you're rich.

oh well, off to fallout 76 i go.

hope nobody noticed the typo in the date yesterday.

my life at the moment is moving.

i have finally gotten into a bit of a rhythm, which is ironic because this is absolutely temporary. mostly the rhythm is pack a little, clean a little, make plans, nap, play Fallout 76 until my brain falls off because the internet where I'm moving won't be good enough to support it.

i think what i'm enjoying most is cataloguing different parts of my life. what is my work self, what is compulsory for my health, what feeds my mental health, what is vanity, what is social.

i do not think i will ever live a minimalist life, but i am finally understanding marie kondo's rise to fame. her method feels good. and combined with circular economy social media, such as free-to-take listings on classified sites and selling clothes in good condition on depop, i don't feel guilty about getting rid of things any more.

there are definite hoarder tendencies within me. this is the joys of obsessive-compulsive disorder and more generally, anxiety disorders, i suppose. i have not reached a life point where i feel the need to actively collect things of a given class, but i have immense difficulty 'just' throwing things away.

rehoming is easier said than done, a lot of times. if you do not live in a metro region, rehoming either looks like saving up a carload of things and taking them to the nearest op shop collection point, recycling them in the appropriate council-provided bins, or finding someone you know to take them on. i did not live in metro regions for much of my life, so 'getting rid of' something meant taking it to the tip for ages. i have only recently become comfortable that there are more ways to give an item new life than to hold onto it in fear it will end up broken and thrown away.

the whole process has made me think a lot about the flexibility of class privilege.

in short; there is no singular class privilege. to have enough money to live comfortably without fear of going unsheltered, unhoused, unfed, isolated — even these examples are all different levels of privilege to someone experiencing the one before.

to be poor in a rural area is to risk going without things considered essential to daily living like food, power, water, transport, and healthcare. but generally it is easier to find shelter. not always good quality shelter, of course, but a shed with tin walls is better than being directly exposed to the sun, wind, rain, and any passersby.

in a metro region, it is easier to find clean water, and to access food either through "unclean" methods like skipdiving and plate diving, or through donation centres and religious charities. the same unsafe method of acquiring items such as clothes and blankets from skip diving is very easy, particularly in a hyperconsumerist nation such as ours. the clothes may not fit and you risk fleas and bedbugs, but they will provide protection from the elements. however in a metropolitan region, true shelter is a rarity. if you're safe from the elements, you're exposed to other humans. and humans are cruel and unpredictable. especially if they see you as an easy target.

which brings me to the reason this has made me think of the discourse around privilege overall.

my assertion is this: privilege is not a state a human can inhabit - a privilege is something you have that others do not.

it would be easy to look at someone's situation in any given area and find someone who has it worse off than them. this does not make them privileged. this means they have privilege. that privilege is relevant in particular situations — particularly ones in which people come into conflict, or where one person or group of people is seeking or gaining something from another. it is not nebulous, unless you purposely try to make it so.

i have been thinking about this particularly in regards to the situation i am about to move into. my landlords have one particular privilege over me, in that they have a house that they live in and can modify at will, and even make a small profit off of. however they do not have a steady income, without a tenant they are at risk of losing their home. if that were to happen, they would be in the exact same rental market i am in, jumping through the same hoops.

but i've been browsing forums and real estate sites quite extensively lately, and quite a lot of the conversation around real estate agents, landlords, and renters, is who has privilege over whom. and increasingly i'm coming to the conclusion that the answer is that the overall system has the ultimate power over all of us. well, and the real estate agents. they do have the privilege of being part of that system, and can flex it over both my landlord and i. rebelling against them would make both our lives worse; the issue at hand when it comes to the privilege of secure housing is the cultural and political system that has rewarded land banking and treating people in need of a home as a mere consumer.

it doesn't seem fair that businesses are given priority over something that we cannot live without.

i don't know how to conclude this journal entry. it seems likely that more people than just i will read it, and if that's you, all i have to offer is suggestions. here's some:

if you're a tenant, join the renter's & housing union.

ask your members for housing what they're doing to ensure everybody has a roof over their head this year. call them, email them, show up at their office and talk to them or their staff. tell them what it's like.

• federal: clare o'neill
• federal shadow minister: michael sukkar
• victoria: harriet shing
• tasmania: felix ellis
• south australia: nick champion
• western australia: john carey
• northern territory:"bill yan
• queensland: sam o'connor
• new south wales: rose jackson
• australian capital territory: yvette berry

if you own investment property: consider selling it. i know, i know, it's been hyped up so much that it feels like you're letting go of a sure thing. but there's more stable and lucrative ways to invest than land. don't take it from me. find out for yourself.

some minor setbacks. lost my myki with a month left on the pass, can't fit into my clothes, still waiting for the rtba lodgement notification, adsense keeps rejecting me but won't point to a specific issue.

at least the weight gain will sort itself. ha. but seriously, i wish i knew why adsense considers my site 'incomplete'. it's not, it's just a blog.

i've got so much goddamn packing to do and so much time to fill between real estate contacts. i'm kind of nervous, because move-in is in a fortnight. it just doesn't feel like a lot of time to set up utilities and figure out workspaces. i've been distracting myself from the doom by sending my CV out randomly. gotta keep that brain active, right?

speaking of packing, guess i'm heading off to do more of that while housie snores in the lounge room.

myki has yet to arrive, and after spending money on internet services i don't really have spare travel money. or money at all, really. my dinner is rice and whatever else is in the cupboard to fill it out.

more contracts coming through for midyear. i'm thinking of planning an 'allowance' for myself, transferring over a set amount from my savings to my everyday account every fortnight or so.

i've hit something of a creative block, and i don't know how to get out of it. well, i do, but i can't quite motivate myself to when my life is packing and cleaning and packing. i just fill out surveys and look at kmart home & living.

i gathered together my surviving plants, since i'm finally going to be able to keep them around the house, which is something to look forward to.

well, back to cleaning i go.

more budgeting. more moving things. more cleaning. more updating. more reading.

what am i doing with my life????

last week in the old house. i'm gonna miss it. but i'm also looking forward to having a rental history. that will help a lot.

also let's be real. keeping the place clean, my way, is going to be nice.

i am nervous about a lot of things. i'm worried about how granny flat living works. i'm obviously nervous about being broke as fuck. but i think overall, i'm still pretty optimistic.

my biggest stressor was setting up utilities. turns out landlord is handling utilities, aside from internet, so that's a relief and a half. it also halves the cost of electricity, so that's nice.

i'm looking at governance courses. the right certificate is treated by hirers like an mba but more targeted. my biggest issue there would be having the money to undertake any such course, even the smaller ones. i know the whole rhetoric about training paying off in salary negotiations, but if i can't find a job because i put myself into debt hoping to pre-qualify, then what's the point? ya know?

ha. maybe i just don't want it enough.

i'm still dreaming of my garden, stockpiling shelves like a darned fool.

the shelves have come in handy, though. since gaining weight, i've had to buy new clothes, mostly pants. i am coping by slowly but surely putting half my wardrobe on depop. if it doesn't fit, it goes. if i haven't worn it, it goes. et cetera.

i move in less than 4 days. oh my god.

the impulse-buying bug finally got me. i was passing by a pawn shop and absolutely needed this midi keyboard i've been eyeing off for a while online.

i justified it as a business expense. you know, for all the music i professionally produce that is definitely not just a barely-monetised hobby. but in all seriousness, i think my desire to create is coming from the overwhelming ubiquity of generative 'artificial intelligence' replacing human creation.

the philosophical discussion about what constitutes art seems to follow two or three different streams of approximate consensus.

the obvious one, that i subscribe to, is that art is creative intent plus effort.

a related one, that i see prompt generators latching onto, is creative intent plus skill. it could be argued (not by me) that describing an intended outcome is a skill in itself, of wordsmithing. i wholly believe that people with that skill could apply it to collaborative uses, and if they insist on buying into the capitalist ideal, they could most likely find very comfortable marketing positions.

i am lumping the last two ideas of 'what is art' together as they are pretty simplistic. in a more general sense; art is either a product with aesthetic value, or a product with cultural or political value. think music, pretty pictures, theatre productions, books, and so on. yes, that is kind of a lazy definition, and one that can encompass more complex ideas. but does art have to be perceived in a complicated manner?

anyway. those are my philosophical ramblings for the day.

in other news, well, in real news, my friends and i watched the headlines about ex-prince andy with glee and then horror as we realised it wasn't about those proclivities. and then the fucker got released just in time for his birthday. wealthy criminals going free? in my dystopia? no wonder there is an air of desperation hanging over modern life.

absolutely destroyed my back cleaning. so that's something i have to deal with now. well. manage.

the process of moving in is finally in the light unpacking stage. i am finding so many clothes i got as hand-me-downs or presents and just never wore. i guess this means i have a chance for a complete wardrobe reset, if i want to actually put the effort in.

i found two pairs of alex perry leggings, one of which i am absolutely keeping for myself as motivation to drop 5kg. the other is being listed at just under half the tag price. if a reseller manages to flip that, then good for them.

it does not escape me that, in replacing my clothes with better fitting ones, i will likely be downgrading the overall quality of said collection from random aussie brands to whatever i find in the op shop that fits, is clean, and slightly suits my style.

luckily i've been op shopping my whole life, that doesn't scare me one bit.

so i moved house a couple of days ago. the process is, as expected, awkward and not without its many problems. the biggest one is unpacking, as in the middle of the process i stubbed as many toes as possible and broke one. maybe two. my foot is one giant bruise.

the kitchen is unpacked, which means i have no excuse to not go down the street and get basic supplies. except for my broken toes. they do really hurt, but i could probably strap them up, wear thick soled shoes, and deal with it. we will see.

adsense continues to evade me, which is frustrating because all i want to do is recoup hosting costs and i am sure i have a functional website with enough content.

the modem and i are learning to coexist still. the battery life settings are having a bit of a moment, so i may just leave it plugged in in a corner of the house. but if that's the worst that's happening, i'm doing pretty well, right?

and finally, the landlords, who live next door, are lovely. i had to submit my condition report with a lot of objections, because i do not want to get dinged by the real estate agents at move-out, and i felt so guilty because i could see how hard the landlords worked to make this place nice. especially because most of the objections were, like, "there are marks on the walls. i did not do this."

i'm weirdly very annoyed by my limited mobility not because i can't go places, but because i can't really vacuum, and i planned to do a deep clean of the carpet once i'd finished unpacking. i foolishly thought i'd be done unpacking by now...

but then, life doesn't ever go exactly the way you plan. really i'm happy where i am for now, and just wish that the little things could be better so that i can enjoy the big things.