dear impulsively public diary,

i haven't written in a while. i guess i've been busy. or depressed. don't ask.

this is stupid, but i can't sleep because i feel fat. so i'm doing my tax return and finally updating the website. at least tax is easy enough, anything i don't understand i simply duckduckgo.

my last blood test came back low in iron. again. so the increased fatigue and anxiety does make sense, as well as the ENDLESS CRAMPING, but i gained 10kg between medium-term jobs. as awkward and out of place as i feel normally, boy howdy does that feel like not so much compared to actually being physically bigger, and not fitting into the uniform without alteration.

i dropped out of the course i enrolled in, because i couldn't hack it. so that was an expensive waste of time and self esteem.

and what's the deal with the deathspo aesthetic becoming mainstream? was it ozempic? i still can't get prescribed a glp-1. i'm jealous that i have to live with my hunger when i'm cutting up a sugar-free jelly cube or drinking my foul tasting vitamin shake with extra water.

the extra water is partly to dilute the taste but mostly because i don't drink as much when i'm not snacking constantly. i don't know why.

some good news: a mate gifted me this astarion themed perfume from this small artist/maker/future game studio, ztmd studio and it is delightful. i really want to go and collect all of their scents. my current wish is veilwalker. but i don't know how it'll travel across state lines. maybe i should just travel a little more. haha. no.

i got the carnivore achievement in oxygen not included. did it take me three consecutive days and a lot of savescumming? yes, but i did it. and i'm proud that i got that badge. now i'm going back to my ridiculous sandbox saves.

talk to you soon. hopefully.